Asian Treat or Trick?

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This dragon went trick-or-treating around Asia the other day since eating cow was getting boring. Got to try some very odd foods. Still not sure if those were tricks or treats, as I’ve had bad belching and gas ever since! (Fried a pasture of bushes around me so got to get some anti-acid soon!)

Balut grossIn the Philippines, I’d heard of this delicacy called balut. After seeing these partially developed chicken embryos served out directly out of their eggs, I changed my mind about being hungry. They looked a little too much like baby dragons to me. Though I’m carnivorous, I’m not cannibalistic! (And I gave up eating road kill a while back after moving to America. Balut fans eat balut like we eat chicken nuggets! Bleck!)

bat stewMoving on, I was ravenous by the time I landed in Thailand. While wandering the streets, I discovered bat stew. Didn’t care so much for it since it took me two days to get the bones unstuck from my teeth. Also, after eating 20 bowls,  I was still hungry!

weasel coffeeSo I hopped over to Japan, where I decided I needed some caffeine to give me some much-needed pep. I came upon some very tasty coffee. After gulping down 10 gallons of Kopi Luwak, I discovered the secret ingredient: weasel poop! It’s made from coffee berries eaten, partially digested, and then pooped out by cute Asian weasels—and priced at $120 per pound! (After getting over the grossness factor, I thought I might want to buy some more of this coffee. I was happy to find it on Amazon!)

Fugu PlateWith all that caffeine in my system, I was really hungry so stopped at a fancy restaurant and asked for the daily special.  For $400 I got a four-course meal that tasted like rubber bands! It was all really pretty but didn’t do a thing for my taste buds or hunger. I later found out I had eaten the highly poisonous flesh of a puffer fish. Specially trained and licensed chefs prepare this dish in restaurants since cooked wrong, it could kill you! (Hope my chefs did a good job!)

Sannakji I felt a little queasy after that so flew to Korea with the hope that the poison would work out of my system with all of that exercise. I developed another big appetite and felt like I wanted some seafood that tasted like seafood this time. So I closed my eyes and randomly pointed at a dish in the seafood section of menu, landing on something called sannakji. Soon I opened my eyes to a plate of squirming octopus! Looked kind of like worms but I was hungry so proceeded to slurp up some octopus. It was a challenge as those wildly squirming tentacles kept trying to slink off of the plate and out of my mouth. (I eventually had to incinerate a few to unstick them from my throat. Parents, don’t feed these to your kids!)

ScorpionsThe grossness factor was beginning to wear off so I was game to try another country so off to China I flew. I landed in the streets of Beijing and instantly spotted my next treat! Crispy scorpions on a stick! Crunchy! Yum! Kind of reminded me of chewing on old dragon scales as a kid. Not so filling but at least these weren’t as potentially poisonous as the puffer fish! And they worked off some of the built-up plaque on my teeth!

Fried TarantulaOkay, it was about time to fly home, but someone suggested stopping in Cambodia for one more yummy (not!) delicacy so I thought “why not?”  I could use a snack before my long flight home. In the streets, I soon found the equivalent of our potato chips – fried tarantulas!  Kind of like chewing a crispy seasoned fish eyeball. Not bad… The taste grew on me so I had 20 packed to go.

I’m home now and feeling really funky. Perhaps it’s imagination that I have legs and things poking me in the stomach and I may still be dying from slow-acting poison! Oh well! What a way to go!

Have you “enjoyed” any of the above “delicacies?” What’s the strangest or grossest stuff you’ve ever eaten? Let me know so perhaps I can search for it on my next eating adventure!

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